When you reach out to SCS you will get me, so I figure I should be the one talking to you now - not some random third-person monologue highlighting how awesome "Dr. Smithey" is. Who would believe that I didn't write that anyway?!!? So...Here goes!
Hi! I'm Adam. I go by many titles: My email signature signs off as "Dr. Adam." My students call me Dr. Smithey. My workshop couples tend to call me Dr. Adam. I like to have a personable relationship with my clients, so most call me Adam, "Doc" or Dr. Adam. When I want to seem super official, I will go by Adam R. Smithey, PhD, LMFT, or Dr. Smithey for short (as I hope you can tell, I am not super official very often!)
My kids call me a "Love Doctor" or a "Heart Doctor." If you ask them what I do, no joke, this is what they'd say "Daddy saves people's lives with love." I won't tell you what my wife calls me.
Basically, call me what feels best to you!
Your relationship deserves the best chance. Feeling comfortable with (yet challenged by) your therapist is important. I respect that you are being a smart consumer and informing yourself. Continue below and follow the links to learn all about me, SCS, my family, my professional philosophy, etc.
I will let you read more about my story and how SCS came to be, but here is the gist. In short, I have wanted to be a therapist since I was about 6 years old. (weird, right?! Go on and click that button to learn more. I'll wait...). While being a therapist is certainly the career I feel drawn to, my real purpose is to change the world - and the world needs more love.
There's a few things you should know about me.
I cuss. Not a lot (in front of you - well maybe by day 3 or 4) but sometimes like a sailor. Cuss words can add tone and inflection to a statement. When they ask - or more likely when then need - I even teach my kids how to appropriately express themselves with 4-letter words. (Hint - it can never be directed at someone).
I despise the concept of 'time.' I used to do 50-min sessions, but found that I couldn't close session before 60-70 minutes or more. I felt rushed. More importantly, I felt like I was short-changing the couple in front of me. Love doesn't follow the 50-min timeframe. Nor does pain or hurt. That's why I fell in love with Marathon Couples Therapy. I promise - you will never here me say "time's up" in a retreat! (This is also why I say retreats are 5-6 hours a day --> I plan on 5, but I will not leave you in the middle of something).
I feel...hard. I am big into emotions and experiences. I find beauty breathtaking (and can find it in most things). I also find hurt devastating. But so much truth is found in our experiences and I want to help you get in touch with and express your truths.
I want you to fail. Yes. You heard that right. It is more important to mess up and make a repair than it is to get it right in the first place. You'll often hear me talk about being "two-minutes better." Don't be perfect. learn from f-ups.
I fail...often. I sometimes feel like a hypocrite. Don't believe a therapist if they don't agree with this on some level - but it is much easier to teach material than it is to implement it into my own life. But every single thing I ask of you in your relationships, I also focus on in mine.
I practice what I preach. I use this stuff. A lot. I fell in love with the Gottman Method because it helped improve my marriage (we still use it!). I wouldn't ask you to do something that I am not willing to do myself.
I'm never satisfied. It sucks, but at the same time it is so empowering to never be done learning, growing, improving, connecting. I became a Marriage and Family Therapist because that is what the State of Indiana said I had to do to help couples and families. I then fell in love with The Gottman Method and became Indiana's first Certified Gottman Therapist. I then realized that not all couples are in a place of building their relationship and some are ambivalent or even considering leaving their relationship. So I became Indiana's first Certified Discernment Counselor.
Two things can be true: There are lot's of great therapists out there and I am proud to be the only one in Indiana with this expertise and approach. Similarly, you can be happy and sad at the same time. You and your partner can be a part of the same event and have two very different experiences. It is more important that we understand our differences than to fight to be "right."
Oh, I almost forgot...here's that third-person perspective thing that I totally didn't write myself...
Adam R Smithey, PhD, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, and Indiana’s first Certified Gottman Therapist.
Since 2004 Dr. Adam has devoted his professional life to helping couples and families and now has a thriving private practice in Indiana where he specializes in building, maintaining, and repairing all relationships. His practice is built on his expertise in marathon counseling, where couples complete 6+ months of traditional therapy in as little as two days. For more than a decade he and his wife have also been involved in various local non-profit efforts, mainly focusing on child sexual abuse prevention and education.
Dr. Adam has nearly 20 years of experience as a therapist, consultant, educator, and speaker; and has presented to local, state, and national conferences. He has been a Certified Gottman Therapist, Trainer, and Workshop Leader since 2016 and regularly presents the Art & Science of Love Couples Workshop and the Gottman Level Clinical Trainings to couples and professionals from around the globe. Additionally, he is also one of very few workshop leaders approved to present the Art & Science of Love 2: Advanced Workshop for Couples.
With what seems like some wonderful accomplishments, since 2012 he is most proud of his hard-earned title of Stay-at-Home-Dad to his three often-wonderful-sometimes-not children. Recently "semi-retired" as a SAHD as his children have now all entered school, Dr. Adam has transitioned his evening and weekend practice to a more traditional format, creating more availability and flexibility for the couples and families served.
Often found in flannel and jeans, as a public speaker, audience members agree that Dr. Adam is authentic, relatable, curious, warm, energetic, and deeply passionate about helping improve relationships. He is able to connect to a variety of audiences and presents complex material in an easy to digest way. His primary goal in his presentations is to empower and leave audience members with a sense of realistic optimism – the “I can do this” mentality.
Dr. Adam truly believes that together, we can change the world: one relationship at a time.
I saved the boring stuff for last - that obligatory resume-worthy stuff can be found on LinkedIn.